"How young is too young to be in a romantic relationship?"

"How young is too young to be in a romantic relationship?"

Answer: During the time that the Bible was written, there was no such thing as casual dating; they did not do that back then. In fact, it is a relatively new concept concocted by a society that seeks to grow more modern and less traditional. Casual dating relationships in the teen years are based upon infatuation, lust, and peer or social pressure. There is usually little to no thought about life-long commitment, as its purpose is mainly to have a good time.

Courting, on the other hand, is a process in which a mature relationship is developed through friendship, time spent together, wisdom, and examination of one's self and the other person, with a clear prospect of a lifetime commitment. For a Christian, this would also include prayer. In biblical times, people only got involved in relationships with the intention of marrying, and those relationships were always contingent upon the approval and involvement of the families. Weighing the criteria, we can deduce that courtship is the most valued option, for good reason.

Children today are beginning to date or become intimate with members of the opposite sex as young as 12 or 13 years old, far before they are emotionally or physically prepared to do so. The families are rarely if ever involved in the child's decision, and in fact many children believe that their personal life is not even the business of their parents. Tragically, parents often agree.

How old is old enough to start a relationship depends on the person, his/her level of maturity, his/her goals, and his/her family's beliefs. The younger a person is, the less mature he/she are due to lack of life experience. He (or she) is just beginning to figure out who he is, and may not be firmly grounded enough to make wise decisions. He is more prone to making unwise decisions while dating that will leave him with emotional, physical, psychological and spiritual damage.

Being in a relationship puts one in almost constant temptation. Especially as emotions begin to develop and the attraction to the other person deepens. The younger a person is when he or she begins to date, coupled with a possible long-term relationship, the more difficult it will be to avoid the destruction of delicate self-esteem and resist temptation. If being marriage-minded is still far-off, it may be too early to begin dating.

The majority of people give in to sexual temptation while still teens. The Bible tells us that any kind of sex before marriage is immoral – it's a sin (Matthew 15:19; 1 Corinthians 6:13; Ephesians 5:3). The Bible warns us to run away from sexual sin, because sometimes running is necessary to resist (1 Corinthians 6:18). Verses 6:19-20 go on to say, “Or don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.”

Imperative before choosing to be in a relationship is finding the right person. The Bible  warns us to keep company with those who have good character (1 Corinthians 15:33). A man should look for a woman who not only claims to be a Christian, but who also gives evidence of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

Couples should be seeking to put God first in every part of their lives, while growing in their relationship with Him and maturing as Christians. They should be equally committed to loving and serving God. Clear boundaries should be set beforehand in order to curb the temptation to sin. This should not be done with an attitude of “how far can we go before we technically sin?” but rather, “how can we glorify and honor God in our relationship by maintaining godly standards of purity and integrity?”

No matter when a person decides to begin to date or court another person, this should never be the primary focus, even during the young years when the rest of the world is encouraging people to have as much “fun” as possible before buckling down into adult responsibilities. This should be a time of building on the foundation of faith that they have been taught, growing and figuring out what God wants them to do. “Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you teach, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity” (1 Timothy 4:12).

Recommended Resources: The Ten Commandments of Dating by Young & Adams